Nightmares
by Veni Vidi Vichi
Summary: Maerad has escaped Arkan, but nightmares of being alone still plague her. Will Cadvan be able to heal her heart, or will she truly become a princess of ice?
1. Chapter 1

This is my first Pellinor fanfic, so bare with me and be sure to give me lots of constructive criticism

This is my first Pellinor fanfic, so bare with me and be sure to give me lots of constructive criticism. Libros

Lost and alone, Maerad stumbled through a world of snow and ice. She felt burdened by some heavy weight, and she felt like she could never, and would never escape from it's cold clutches.

"Why?!" She screamed at the heavens. "Why me?!"

"I'm so glad you're back," a familiar voice said, and a hand that was cold enough to burn her ran down her arm in an entirely too familiar way. It was the voice that had bothered her for months, his name was Arkan.

"Maerad, wake up, wake up!" Cadvan's voice insisted, breaking through her nightmare.

Maerad woke up and looked around her surroundings as if through a fog, until the instant that she saw Cadvan. Suddenly her world was clear and she broke down into relieved tears.

"Did you have another nightmare?" Cadvan asked gently as he hesitantly patted her back, as if he was a little unsure of how to comfort her.

"It was worse than all the other ones," Maerad whispered drawing away from him and setting her head on her drawn up knees. "Arkan found me this time, and he said. . . well, it only matters that you weren't there, and no one could help me. I was all alone, again."

"I'm sorry," Cadvan said, and she looked up at him in surprise.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be there," Cadvan continued, "I'm sorry you lost everyone-"

Maerad's hand covered his mouth and said,

"You have nothing to be sorry for. You never left me by choice, even when I was driving you crazy."

She let out a tiny smile at that, and he smiled a wide, happy smile because of her happiness. She marveled at that because he hardly ever smiled, but since she'd met up with him in the ruins of Pellinor, he'd smiled more often than ever before.

"You would have done the same for me," Cadvan responded.

"I hope so," Maerad whispered. "I couldn't leave you now."

"We will fight the Nameless One together," Cadvan encouraged her, turning her to face him and putting both of his hands on her shoulders, "Shoulder to shoulder we will stand, hand in hand and fight the Nameless One."

"Thank you," Maerad said, reaching her hand up to lay it on one of his hands. "I need you to stand by me. These nightmares have scared me more than anything else I have had to face. I'd rather fight a hundred wers than be stuck all alone with Arkan again."

Here she shivered violently, and Cadvan gently took her in a warm hug, stilling her and dispelling the cold from her body.

"Remember when we first met?" Cadvan asked her, rubbing her arms, trying to warm her up without scaring her. Feeling her small nod in his shoulder, her continued, "When I found you in that cow byre? I was shocked that someone in such a tiny, insignificant place could even tell that they weren't alone."

"How do you think I felt?" Maerad asked, pulling back and looking at him seriously. "I thought you were some dark spirit there to punish me for claiming to have the evil eye!"

"And then, when we were traveling, we argued so much at first," Cadvan said quietly, and then glanced at his sleeping pallet, "I'd better get to my bed."

"Wait!" Maerad exclaimed as he made to stand up, "Stay with me, just a little longer!"

Cadvan saw the fear in her eyes, and so he sat back down. Slowly, Maerad leaned her back against his chest, almost shyly. This was totally uncharted territory for her, but she needed his comfort.

"Then when we finally reached Innail, and you met Silvia and Malgorn for the first time," Cadvan reminisced, trying to bring to her remembrance happier times.

"Don't forget Dernhil," Maerad said softly, getting a sad look in her sleepy eyes.

"I'd never forget him," Cadvan agreed, slowly wrapping one of his arms around her. "We had to leave there all too soon."

His recounting of many of their adventures eased Maerad into a soft sleep, and he eased her onto his lap. Cadvan feared that if he stopped talking, or moved even, she would awaken once more. He reached down and brushed her soft hair from off her face, remembering when he had found her asleep on Ardina's porch. It was then that he had first come to a full realization of how much he had begun to care for the girl he traveled with.

"Someday I'll tell you Maerad," he whispered. "Someday I'll tell you how I feel, even if it kills me."

Leaning back against a nearby tree, Cadvan closed his eyes and slept.

Yeah, I know that wasn't very good, but it's my first try writing a Pellinor fanfiction. I have a second chapter for this, so if you want me to post it, please review. (Though I will probably do it anyway because I hate to beg for reviews.)


	2. Chapter 2

This is Libros again, and this is both the second chapter and the end of this story

This is Libros again, and this is both the second chapter and the end of this story. I hope you liked the last chapter, and I hope you enjoy this one as well. Agh! I just realized I forgot to do a disclaimer for the first chapter!

Disclaimer: I do not claim any rights to The Books of Pellinor, I wish I did because the next book would be out by now. Alison Croggon owns the series, and the wonderful characters inside the books. (Pouts in the corner)

Maerad opened her eyes to see Cadvan's sleeping face above her from her vantage point of his lap. He had laid a blanket over the rest of her body that wasn't on his at some point during the night, obviously being his usual caring self.

She contemplated waking him up for a moment before deciding against it. Seeing Cadvan asleep was too rare of an opportunity to waste. His face now as he slept was much different then when she'd met him. Then, he'd been gray with exhaustion and looking at least to be thirty five years old, but even then his face had been arresting. Now, as he slept, his dark hair shining with the morning light, his mouth set in a soft smile, he looked barely older than she was. It reminded her vividly of the first time he had slept and let her keep watch, shortly after their battle with the wers. It had been the first time that she had felt he'd trusted her, though now she knew he must have trusted her long before.

Maerad had surely trusted him long before the moment, since the very moment she met him really. It was to him her memory supplied the words that had changed her life after all. Her blue eyes glazed over as she thought of her adventures with this man. He had brought danger, and fear greater than she had ever known before into her life, but he had also brought friendship, kindness, and love. Hem, Silvia, Saliman. . . Dernhil, they were all people she loved, and would never have met had he not stopped in the cow byre that day.

A shadow crossed Cadvan's face, and Maerad bolted up, her hand going for Irigan, looking for what had caused the shadow. A raven flew in a large circle around the ruins of Pellinor, and it scared Maerad for a moment before remembering what Cadvan had said about ravens and their wisdom. Taking a deep breath, she set Irigan down and watched as the raven flew down to her.

"I carry a message for Cadvan of Lirigon and Maerad of Pellinor from Saliman," it said, and Maerad waited for it to continue. "He says, 'Hem and I are safe, so Maerad, you need not fear for us. We have had some battles with the dark, and I fear our Schools may not long hold up against such barrages. Hem wishes to meet with Maerad, he is concerned for her safety as I imagine she must be for his. If you have gathered all that you need, we urge you to meet us at Four Corners, where we will be waiting.' Now I suspect you have some kind of return message?"

Maerad froze for a second, wondering how to respond, before realizing that Cadvan should also have heard the message. She turned to him to wake him up, only to find that he was wide awake and contemplating something.

"Tell him we are at the heart of home right now and that we shall not be able to make it for some time, but that we will be there soon. We have what we need to make the travel," Cadvan instructed the raven. It gave a nod before flying away.

"What did all of that mean?" Maerad asked. He turned and looked at her as he began to pack up their things.

"Saliman and Hem are alive, and they wait for us at Four Corners, which is code for Darsauleu, a place where four mountains touch and surround the city. It has long been an isolated place, far from the reaches of the dark," Cadvan responded. "To reach there by the time I secreted into my message, we will have to leave now."

"Now?" Maerad asked, voice tinged by a little regret and sadness as she gazed at the ruins of Pellinor. "It's been so peaceful here with just the two of us."

"I'm afraid so," Cadvan said, lightly stroking her hair before going back to packing. Maerad helped him in silence, thinking about what it would mean to travel again, and the dangers they would have to face.

They had finished packing and were eating a quick breakfast when Cadvan spoke up again,

"I had a nightmare of sorts last night."

Maerad looked up at him sharply, surprised. Nightmares were her realm of expertise in having, not Cadvan's. 'Maybe it was about Ceredin,'she thought glumly. Looking back at the fire she asked,

"What was it about?"

"We were battling the Nameless One," Cadvan began, and she started in surprise. "We were losing badly, but then you unleashed a power the likes of which I had never seen before. He died, one last, final time in the face of that fury, but it took your life as well."

Maerad looked at him carefully, trying to discern if he was being honest about his dream, and as far as she could tell, he was. Gently, hesitating only slightly, Maerad placed her hand on his.

"I'm not going anywhere," she assured him.

"It made me realize something," Cadvan said, and there was a nervousness she had never witnessed before on his face. Almost like he was afraid of her."I need to tell you that I love you."

Maerad stared into his eyes, waiting for the panic she knew would come at those words, just like it had come when Dernhil had once pronounced the same thing to her, though in different words. No such panic came. She remembered the last thing she had said before Dernhil had kissed her, 'I will be safer with Cadvan than with any other, I think.' Right from the beginning she had trusted him, was that love?

She still remembered those times when her heart would speed up just from his touch, like the time he had healed her ankle and the time when she had followed him through the mountain and he'd held her hand. Was that too a sign of love?

Cadvan had also always taken care of her, understood her, like when he insisted she tried mushrooms, and when she'd been afraid when there was only one bed and he had willingly slept on the floor. Was that love?

But he'd also been the one that, without, she'd had no desire to go on living. The one she cared for more than anyone, other than Hem, but her relationships with the two were too different to compare. Maerad realized in a sudden flash that she loved him back, but already his face was growing sad, and he worried that he'd pushed her too far.

"Cadvan," Maerad said, looking into his eyes, "I'm not sure of myself, and we'll have to take this very slowly, but I love you."

His face grew incredulous before transforming into a look of joy. He hugged her tightly, and then leaned down and chastely kissed her lips. It felt like all of a sudden there were was a fire deep down in Maerad's belly, and she grinned as he pulled away, all her fears melting away like ice when spring comes.

Suddenly, the words of the Elidhu came to mind. She'd asked Maerad if she loved Cadvan, and she couldn't help but wonder if Ardina had seen something between them, even then.

Hand in hand, Maerad and Cadvan turned in the direction of Darsauleu and began to walk, ready to take on the powers of darkness.

Well, I'm done! Hope you liked it! I'm not sure how the end was, it just seemed like it was getting too long, so I wrapped it up. And yes, the summary tends to fit better for the first chapter then the second one. Let me know what I can do better and maybe I'll write a oneshot!

Libros


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